Pastoral Care and Counseling

excogitation uncouth c ar and commission is mavin of the definitive ministries in the perform expression at all(prenominal) place in the world. Our churches be filled with citizenry who experience crisis, lost, l peerlessliness, anxiety, depression, divorced, and family bothers. Pastors turn over a huge probability to back up heap just by listening and encouraging those in household of faith. In slightly cases it is just enough to listen and t to individually matchless biblical principles of animate but in the other cases in that location is the engage to be specifically train wad for a specialized ministry of discuss with deeper problems.In the context of my Country, Russia, I choose ternion skips which to the highest degreely regard response in the churches. These issues argon Pre marital Counseling, Marriage Counseling and Crisis c ar and Counseling. Most of the propagation we do non feel comfort adequate to(p) to talk closely these issues on the church but it do non mean that the problems do non exist. To throw a bun in the oven a healthy church these issues quest to be addressed and diplomatic ministers need to reckon how to approach hatful be wee the mountain argon not deprivation to approach curates introductory and ask for booster. Part I Premarital CounselingPsychologist Carl Rogers at once gave a sobering perspective on labor union. If 50-75 percent of Ford or General Motors cars completely fell a collapse within the early part of their lifetimes as automobiles, Rogers wrote, the public outcry would be overwhelming and drastic steps would be taken to correct the situation. But this gambles to around wedding ceremonys and hardly anyone rises any complain. Divorce is frequent, fewer than half of the spousals that persist could be considered prosperous, and very much couples appear unable or un leave aloneing to correct the situation.The same situation and placement to marriage we get in Russi an, raft usually earn attach in age of 20 and mostly marriages fail later first three years. When I was getting my bachelor degree, 90% of my classmates were getting unite at ages of 20 21 but 95% of them got divorced in the senior year of College. I am talking about sacrilegious world and we whitethorn collect a discordent statistics among Christians but the counterbalancet is that young bulk arrive no clue what marriage is about.There be opusy reasons for the evince instability of marriages, but one of the many causes of ill luck is built primarily on intimate attraction, the desire to escape from a onerous headquarters situation, a wispy pinch of love, or few every(prenominal) bit fleeting motive. Many marriage births atomic number 18 too slender to survive the pressures, challenges, and storms of daily living. Unprep atomic number 18d for the stresses or for the effort and determination required making marriage organise, many people p partake to inv est up and bail out. That which was meant to be consequenceful and fulfilling thus fabricates frustrating and personally devastating.I trust that if the society in Russian would pay more attention on premarital discuss in the church and outside then the family asylum would have grow stronger and that would lead the country to success because the entrapation of any country is the family institution. Premarital advise seeks to tending individuals, couples, and groups of couples to prep be for and build happy, fulfilling, Christ-honoring, and successful marriages. There are many values in premarital steering if it is done cope encompassingy and consistently by the curate. One of these values is the comfort that it brings to him personally.One diplomatic minister groundworknot change this societal attitude by himself, but separately(prenominal) one provoke experience the inner re state of ward of kat onceing he has done his part to change this prevailing attitude. The values of premarital focal point are first of all to help the couple to approach marriage more solidistically because they are witting of single twain things that they are in love, and they want to spend their lives unitedly. Another value of premarital guidance is that it affords individually(prenominal) ally a better taking into custody of himself. A value of extensive greatness is the write outledge that from each one follower gains of the other through the advocate process.The pastor essential help the partners to gain a greater arrest of the thought patterns of each other. Another practical value of premarital management is that partners raft see the value of, and gain experience in the adroitness of parley. Finally, a great value of premarital counseling is that it helps persons to realistically suss out if they are making the right choice regarding marriage. Reasons for premarital guidance Gary collins outlines seven basic principles of premarital counseling that I found adjuvant in my context. These are 1.Unrealistic Expectations That Can Lead to Disillusionment. When they approach marriage, perhaps most people assume that they have unusual races. Perhaps these expectations are changing now that marriage failures are so more than taken for granted. Often there is impatience, insensitivity, self-centered, attitudes, inadequate skill in relating, and great dis day of the month and disillusionment when ones expectations for marriage are not met quickly. Premarital counseling lets couples express, discuss, and realistically modify their expectations for marriage. 2.Personal immatureness That Can Lead to Insensitivity. Most 92% marriages in Russian happened because of maternal quality and this is the normal thing nowadays. It is not surprising that ones attitudes and behavior within a marriage differ little from the characteristics that were brought to the relationship. If one or any(prenominal)(prenominal) of the partici pants are self-centered, hypercritical, impatient, competitive, or striving for statusthat is, immature onward marriage, these traits lead ramble a flex on marital stability later. People who are irresponsible before marriage tend to be irresponsible after the wedding.Premarital counseling should seek to uncover and discuss the self-centered tendencies that put strain on a marriage. The couple must be taught how to re function differences, and they must develop both sensitivity and a arcdegreeingness to accept and meet each others needs. This involves giving freely to ones mate just as Christ gave to us. 3. ever-changing Roles That Can Lead to Confusion. Confusion and betrothal may follow when a man and woman each come to marriage with unclear roles and vague expectations about their own and each others responsibilities.Differing assumptions and views about who is sup jelld to do what rotter lead to tension unless the couple has learned to communicate honestly, not defensiv ely, and in loving way. Premarital counseling provides an opportunity for a couple to go this type of communication. Together they quite a little learn to discuss their different expectations and finalise on areas of responsibility. Such role clarification must not edit out biblical commands. According to Scripture, both the Christian save and wife must be filled with the aim daily confessing sin, giving thanks, and praying for the Holy Spirit to control each of their lives.There too must be an attitude of plebeian submission to each other, but the more stringent requirements are set on the husband. The husband and wife are equally valuable and equally authorized in the building of a good marriage, but they have different responsibilities. 5. Loosening Sexual Standards That Can Lead to Immorality. Sex before marriage is not revolutionary and neither is it rare, even among Christians. But as a result of these more liberal attitudes, dating for many has become a time for e xploring each others bodies and genitals instead of each others mind, feelings, beliefs, values, and expectations.Sexual standards are loosening and premarital sex, even among Christians, appears to be more prevalent. Nevertheless the sacred scripture til now calls this immorality a violation of Gods best for our lives. Issues like this should be discussed honestly, faced compassionately, and examined biblically. 6. Previous Experiences That Can Lead to Overconfidence. Books on premarital counseling very much assume that most couples are young, inexperienced, and entering their first marriage. This is not always true. Many prospective brides and grooms have been previously matrimonial. rough previously married people recognize the need for new adjustments and appreciate the help that can come from a smooth counseling. More practically, it awaits, people approaching remarriage remain firm premarital counseling and assume that it is unnecessary and only for those who have had no prior marital experience. The counselor can challenge unrealistic attitudes, help the couple see potential problems that even previously married people might miss, and guide them to resolve issues that may have been unresolved pursual the previous marriage. 7. Circumstances That Can Lead to Later Misery.When they come to marriage, some people bring what one counselor calls red-flag situations that need special testing and evaluation. Some of these circumstances were mentioned as pregnant bride, one or both participants on the rebound from a previous marriage or engagement, severe drug involvement, turned on(p) problems or mental instability, serious mental or somatic handicaps, no financial security, contrasting cultural backgrounds or spiritual beliefs, wide curtain raisings in education or age differences, and knowing each other for a very short time. Many marriages do not survive.Premarital counseling should not be viewed as a painful execution designed to snatch unsu specting couples from the grips of marital misery. Most premarital counseling is done, not with pathological people, but with relatively healthy individuals who can be helped to enhance and enrich a growing relationship. Format It should be diaphanous that a counselor cannot accomplish all of these purposes in one outline interview. Most writers recommend that there be at least cinque or six one-hour sessions prior to the wedding. This of course can be demanding.It is tripping for time pressures and counselee busyness to combine in convincing the counselor that a drafter period of premarital counseling would suffice. Try to resist that temptation. There is much to be discussed if a marriage is to be built on a solid foundation. The general goals according to Hamilton, include the following (1) an understanding of the meaning of marriage within the framework of biblical truth and Christian theology, (2) an understanding of the problems affecting marriage in contemporary culture, and (3) an understanding of the Christian apprehension of the value of human personality.As the pastor deals with these broad concepts he seeks to expand his counselees consciousness of the importance of marriage in the light of its biblical and historical roots, of the alone(p) pressures universeness brought upon marriage in our times, and of Christianitys view of the worth of persons. All of these goals are of vital importance in building a sound philosophy of marriage.The specific goals, according to Hamilton, center in the following areas (1) an understanding of each partners role- wisdom in the forthcoming marriage, (2) an understanding of each partners role-expectation of the other, (3) an understanding of how each partner evaluates the strengths and weaknesses of the other, (4) an understanding of the potential strengths and weaknesses of the proposed marriage, and (5) a careful examination of especial(a) problems likely to arise.The underlying, practical goal of all premarital counseling is forked (1) to enable the partners to pre-solve some potential marriage problems before they arise and (2) to give the partners knowledge of, and experience in, the art of communication, which is so necessary in the building of a rich and rewarding relationship. The pastor who wishes to do a creditable job of premarital counseling should think in terms of at least three sessions (1) one with the woman, (2) one with the man, and (3) one with both.In each of the individual sessions the pastor forget be engaging in cardinal main functions (1) listening, (2) scrupleing, (3) analyzing, and (4) teaching. Listening As in other types of counseling, the pastor needs to light upon what is, and is not, being said. Only by careful listening can the pastor come to valid insights regarding the counselees real feelings about his personal relationship with the proposed marriage partner. Questioning Skillful use of questions enables the pastor to gather the type of selec tive information he needs to help persons prepare for marriage.Questioning will center in the two broad areas of facts and feelings. The area of facts will have to do with much(prenominal) aspects as how they met, how long they have known each other, how long they have dated, and when they plan to marry. The questioning should then move to the deeper level of feelings. This area has to do with much(prenominal)(prenominal)(prenominal) matters as the counselees true feelings about the idea of marriage, the demands of marriage, his perception of his partner as a marriage mate, and his own feelings regarding his ability to be a suitable marriage partner.The pastor should not oscillate to question his counselees regarding their feelings about every aspect of the marriage relationship including much(prenominal) matters as where they will live and in what kind of dwelling, how many children they want, where they will attend church, whether the wife will be employed outside the al-Qai da (along with how long, how much, and what kind of work), how they will use their leisure time, where they will find their friends and how they will develop social relationships, how each feels about the husbands job, and if either plans for further education.He should also examine their attitudes toward in-laws, gold, and sex. As the pastor probes the deeper levels of his parishioners feelings he gains the type and tot of information he needs as he proceeds to analysis. Analyzing by and by the data is sorted out and analyzed, the pastor is ready for a vocalize session (or sessions) with the partners. In most cases there will be some differences in how each partner perceives certain aspects of the future marriage. These are the areas that will need to be given special and careful attention during the vocalize session.It is at this time that the two partners will need to be shown the importance of communication. It will also provide a rich opportunity for them to incur to deve lop new and better ways of communicating their feelings to each other. teaching method Lastly, the pastor engages in the function of teaching. The amount and type of teaching that is to be done will be determined by what the pastor has observed in the individual counseling sessions. The broad areas covered in his teaching will usually include the Christian view of marriage, the tatus of marriage in contemporary culture, the responsible use of sex, the basic differences in maleness and femaleness (most feel they understand the opposite sex but do not), and the art of communication. As a part of his teaching function the pastor should be prepared to recommend and loan helpful books and articles in areas where the partners pretermit understanding. It is also important for the pastor to point out the value of a medical examination for the prospective bride, if not for both partners. Thorough work in premarital counseling may involve more than three counseling sessions, but that is th e minimum. speckle this is both time-consuming and exhausting, it is less so than marriage counseling. If a pastor does his premarital counseling work well he may be saving himself, or some other pastor or counselor, from involvement in more extensive marriage counseling later on. Of greater significance, of course, is that premarital counseling helps couples to build the kind of relationships that are both solid and satisfying We have high incidences of divorce in the church in Russia particularly among young people because they are often pushed into early marriage by teenage pregnancies.Such people do not have any opportunity for premarital counseling. The church often accomplish them with disdain and may not be readily aerofoil to give them some basic premarital counseling that would help sustain them when they get married. Part II Marriage Counseling Marriage is not a very stable institution at least in the westerly and Eastern worlds. In Russia the average duration of a marr iage is only 5 years. More than a million couples are divorced every year. Many who stay together have marriages tolerable but not especially happy.Even though happy marriages like these do exist and are possible, we live in a time when marital unhappiness is more common and where many see divorce as a harmoniseable and ever-present fire escape should marital conflicts get too impatient to handle. Marriage, the permanent union named by God, is treated more and more as a temporary arrangement of convenience. Marriage is one of the first topics discussed in the Bible. But what does the Bible say about marital problems and ways to help troubled marriages? Almost nothingIt should be remembered that marital conflict often is a symptom of something deeper, such as selfishness, lack of love, unwillingness to forgive, anger, bitterness, communication problems, anxiety, sexual abuse, drunkenness, feelings of inferiority, sin, and a deliberate rejection of Gods will. Each of these can ca use marital tension, each can be influenced by husband-wife conflict, and each is discussed in the Bible. The causes of marital problems Some common marital problems as found in Russian culture outline by Collins as follow 1. Faulty Communication.In the professional literature, this probably is the most commonly mentioned cause of marital discord. Citing James 41-3, psychologist Lawrence Crabb notes that communication problems inevitably result when people pursue self-centered goals, but sometimes problems also come because individuals have not learned how to communicate clearly and efficiently. Most of us would agree that occasional miscommunication between spouses is inevitable. When miscommunication is more common than clear communication, however, the marriage begins to have serious problems.Poor communication tends to breed more of the same. Try to remember that communication is a learned interaction. Even when it is not good, people can learn to make it better. 2. Underintegra ted or Overintegrated Relationships, Getting close to another(prenominal) person is risky. We open ourselves to criticism and possible rejection when we let another person know us intimately, he become aware of our insecurities, or see our weaknesses. Since most of us have learned the value of fending for ourselves, it is not easy to trust another personeven when that other person is a marriage partner 3 Interpersonal Tension.When two people marry, each comes to the marriage with slightly two or more decades of past experiences and ways of looking at life. Each has perspectives that are not shared by the other and sometimes, even when there is a sincere desire for compromise or synthesis, couples still has difficulty resolving their differences. What happens if there is unwillingness to change, insensitivity to the other persons viewpoints, or a refusal to acknowledge the differences?Often there is tension that frequently centers on one of the following issues Sex At times most cou ples have sexual problems. These include lack of accurate knowledge, unrealistic expectations, misgiving of not being able to perform adequately, differences in sexual drive, inhibiting attitudes about sex, and shy(predicate) opportunities for privacy. Roles We live at a time when traditional male-female roles are being reevaluated. This often leads to conflict over what it means to be a husband or wife. The society gives little guidance because opinions seem to be changing so rapidly.Inflexibility When a man and woman marry, each brings a unique personality to the marriage. Sometimes these personality differences complement each other and go away into a mutually compatible relationship. Often marriages take on personalities of their own, each of which can have strengths and weak points. There can be difficulties, however, if one or both of the partners is rigid, unwilling to give, or strongly resistant to change. faith The Bible warns of problems when a believer and an unbeliev er try to live together in marriage.Counselors have observed tensions when a husband and wife differ from each other in their denominational preferences, degree of commitment to spiritual things, fire in theology, or expectations about the religious education of children. Sometimes these differences arrive at tension in other areas such as choice of friends, views of ethics, whether and to whom gracious donations will be given, or the use of time on Sundays. religion can be a binding, strengthening force in a marriage, but when a husband and wife have different viewpoints, religion can also be a destructive focus for marital tension.Values What is really important in life? How should we spend our time and money? What are our goals? These questions concern values. When a couple has similar values, the marriage is often healthy and growing. When values are in conflict, however, the relationship may be one of tension, power struggles, and mutual criticism. Value conflicts are at t he envisiont of many marital problems. Consider, for example, how some of the following value alternatives could create potential for conflict. Functions of the Marriage Counselor The functions of the Marriage Counselor are To larn the hurts that the counselees are feeling. In many cases these hurts have been intense, of long duration, and unexpressed to a third party. The reason that the counselor needs to hear the hurts is because the counselee feels his or her partner has not truly heard him or her. Attempts to be heard by his mate have been aborted, and this adds to his anxiety and frustration. When he feels that his counselor is getting his contentedness and is feeling with him, he experiences the catharsis he needs in instal to approach his problem more realistically. 2. To clarify problems.Most persons who come for counsel are aware of symptoms but they do not understand what is producing those symptoms. Most people are so confused they do not know what their problem is u ntil they visit a counselor. 3. To help in the understanding of roles. Most couples are confused of their roles. Because it is difficult for one to see the gap between his perception of himself and his behavior, he feels that he is misunderstood if his mate points out this inconsistency to him. When both partners are thus criticizing each other, each feels mistreated and frustrated. . To facilitate communication. A communication problem happens when partners have unresolved conflict between them. The counselor helps deal with the conflicts then now they have free flow of communication. 5. To come on change in perception and behavior. It is not enough for the counselor to hear hurts, clarify problems, aid in the understanding of roles, and aid in facilitating communication. He must help motivate the partners both to think themselves into a new way of behaving and to behave themselves into a new way of thinking.Motivation is usually achieved, at least to a degree, when feelings have been ventilated, the problem is seen in clearer perspective, and communication lines have been undefendable. Some marital problems in Russia are like an inflamed appendix, fitted of killing but relatively simple to remove. Other problems will be of such depth and severity that the pastor will not be able to deal with them. This means that he will need to refer them to a professional counselor, a psychologist or a psychiatrist. The pastor need not feel defeated by his inability to help such persons.If it is any comfort to him, he should be aware that some marital problems lie beyond the skill of even the best of professionals. Therefore, while he may be truly sorry that he is not able to help in some cases, he should not be disconcert by this inability. Such failures should, however, encourage him to continue his study of counseling so that his knowledge will expand and his skills will increase. Part III awe and Counseling in Crises Situation A crisis happens all the time in all cultures nobody is exempted from crisis big or small, reach or poor, amend or uneducated.A crisis is a part of our lives it is usually happen when person cannot solve the problems by himself. This is where clownish service is required. A personal crisis develops in four stages (1) the problem causes tension to the person. (2) Failure to respond to this need produce feelings of anxiety, confusion, and guilt. (3) When this continues undecided it develops into a crisis situation that may require external help. (4) If the problem is not resolved, the inner stress of unmet needs mounts until it reaches another thresholdthe breaking point. This is teeming blown crisis.Caplan in his book Principle of Preventive Psychiatry distinguishes two categories of crises Developmental and Accidental Developmental crises are normal in the horse sense that they happen as an integral part of all or many peoples growth. Among these are birth, weaning, toilet training, the oedipal conflict, going to school, adolescence, leaving home, completing school, entering a vocation, engagement, marriage adjustment (or the adjustment of singlehood), pregnancy, parenthood, the middle-age crisis, prejudice of parents, menopause, retirement, death of spouse, death of friends, and eventually ones own dying.These stressful experiences are the occasions of crises for an individual to the extent that they pose problems for which her or his previous coping abilities are inadequate. Each developmental stage and crisis is the occasion for a variety of caring and counseling opportunities. Accidental crises can occur at any age, precipitated by unexpected losses of what one regards as essential sources of need satisfaction.Precipitating experiences include all the life events listed on the Holmes-Rahe scale below, loss of status and respect an accident or operative operation mental illness or alcoholism a forcible handicap an unwanted pregnancy a natural disaster such as a flood or earthquake or a massive social calamity such as a war or economic depression. Crises can be triggered by seemingly confirming changes such as a job promotion or kickoff from college. All these events produce emotionally unfounded situations. Crises happen in people rather than to them, but they tend to occur in high-stress, emotionally hazardous situations.A crisis is more than simply a time of danger, pain, and stress to be endured. It is important for the counselor to see that it is a turning point, a growth opportunity where persons move toward or away from greater personality strength and wholeness. This makes crisis counseling a strategic helping opportunity. In dinner dress Crisis Counseling a good deal of the counseling done by pastors takes place in knowledgeable settings without being called counseling. This is what happen most in my context. Pastors meet a need a attend to it immediately without insisting that the person concerned must book an appointment before seeing him to discu ss the issue.Some occurs in the ministers office or home when people drop by for a chat, without an appointment. By allowing the sensitivities and skills of counseling to permeate their many in dinner dress and chance encounters, ministers can help many times the number of people they could reach through formal counseling alone. While it is important that pastors should have some private time for themselves and family, it also important to have parishioners know that their pastor ordinarily is available when severe crises light unexpectedly.As ministers learn to recognize and utilize the country care opportunities potentially present in many interpersonal contacts, this becomes a natural pastoral reflex. They tell on frequent opportunities to do free one-session crisis counseling during the ordinary encounters of parish life. Occasionally these will become formal and multiple-session counseling relationships. Informal counseling is informal in one or more of these ways the set ting may be anywherea street corner, a grocery store, a hospital room, the church lounge, a parishioners office or living room, in meeting, etc.The counseling happens in the context of a relationship not identified as counselinga chance encounter or a pastoral call, perhaps following a meeting or Sunday service. The persons brainpower reflects this informal atmosphere. He/she probably thinks of what occurs as talking over a problem with the pastor rather than counseling. The structure and sequence of formal counseling interviewsappointments, stated time limits, and an agreed-upon series of sessionsare usually lacking. Such brief informal counseling can be very helpful to some people.Informal crisis counseling opportunities occur frequently during a pastors home and hospital visits. Much of what is done during such calls is general pastoral care. It becomes a counseling issue when the counselee is aware of his /her problem and the pastor shows his willingness to help with the probl em. The counselee is able to overcome his/her fear of disclosing the problem to another person with the hope that he/she is going to be helped in such action. Such confidence to disclose the problem does not normally come automatically. It comes with a lot of struggles.Such persons often are subject to informal counseling long before they enter formal counseling. Some people have great difficulty making a formal appointment for counseling, even when wrestling with very painful problems. They feel that to do so would be to admit failure, which would increase their feelings of low self-esteem and powerlessness. This is why the ability of pastors to go to people, make themselves emotionally available, offer help, and establish informal counseling relationships is a priceless professional addition, which should be used to the fullHow can ministers create opportunities, during their pastoral contacts, for care-giving conversations, informal and formal counseling? First, they know or sus pect that such and such is in particular need of pastoral carethe bereaved, the sick, the unemployed, the depressed, the hospitalized, the disgruntled, those in psychotherapy, newlyweds, new parents, the recently retired, the handicapped, alcoholics and their families, the lonely, those with upset or handicapped children, and those who face painful crises and perplexing decisions.An alert pastor often senses intuitively that a certain family is under extreme pressure. Such pastoral care suspects should go on the Special Help List. By devoting redundant pastoral visitation time to these persons, ministers can build strong relationship bridges with them. Such relationship can bring pastoral care and informal counseling help to the troubled, and also make it easier for them to seek formal counseling. The building of relationship bridges with those who are likely to need help but are not yet motivated to seek it, are described by Seward Hiltner as precounseling.The many interpersonal contacts of pastors contribute to this purpose if people feel they are warm, nonjudgmental, caring, competent, shockproof, not too busy, and humanaware of their own humanity . Clinebell believes that, a pastors sensitivity to the subtle signs of distress is an asset in spotting potential counseling opportunities. Many ministers walk by on the other side of their parishioners Jericho Roads simply because they lack awareness. The pastors emotional radar antennas should be tuned to the wavelength of people in order to pick up subtle cries for help and coded mayday signals.Clinebell highlights some basic typical distress signals that can help pastors understand people in need. These are Embarrassment at the ministers call A frantic attempt to keep the conversation on the surface, avoiding all depth encounters. Depression including such symptoms as sleeplessness loss of interest in ones usual pleasures anxious agitation or overweight sluggishness feelings of worthlessness, emptiness/me aninglessness or helplessness a phony-fixed smile. hide antagonism between spouses sometimes hidden behind saccharine-sweet surface behavior.Emotionally disturbed children including those with behavior problems, (which often reflect hidden marital unhappiness). Frequent alcohol addiction particularly at in clutch times. A radical change in usual behavior including church attendance. Irrational or frantically set behavior. Guilty avoidance of the pastor. Affiliating with extremist political or religious groups. When such distress signals are identified, pastors should make every effort to be emotionally accessible to the persons and to offer help in a way that prise their right to refuse it.A third way to open up informal and formal counseling opportunities is the judicious use of openersquestions or statements designed to hinder superficial conversation and provide an opening for people to discuss their real feelings and issues if they choose. Here are some samples How are thin gs going for you in this difficult situation? What youre saying feels very heavy. How are things going with you really? You seem to be feeling very discouraged (upset, angry, remorseful). I get the feeling you have a burden on your mind. Although such openers may jumpstart people initially, they express the pastors concern and by implication, offer help. A glad question, asked with warmth and empathy, can help free people to talk about their burdens. A question about ones spiritual health is as appropriate from a minister as is a question about ones physical health from a family doctor. Conclusion Pastoral Care and Counseling ministry is the most important ministry next to the ministry of preaching of the Gospel. People who are hurting they are not be able to listen the Gospel without a heal balm of their wounds.Only Pastors are caring such methods of healing. The Gospel itself addresses to extremeity of man spiritual and body. When one part is addressed to the negligence to the other the total needs of man will not be made. Pastors who are sensitive to the hurts of members of their congregation and unable to address such hurts through the appropriate counseling technique are more likely to be successful in ministry then those who neglect these needs. The course Pastoral Care and Counseling has opened my understanding to these needs in our congregation. I got more focused in this area of ministry.And I wish to pursue it in the future. Bibliography Benner, David. Strategic Pastoral counseling. shekels Baker Book House,1998 Barister C. W . Pastoral care in the church. San Francisco Harper San Francisco, 1992 Cavanagh, John. Fundamental Pastoral Counseling. Ireland The mergier press, 1963 Cobb, John. Theology and Pastoral Care. Philadelphia Fortress, 1979 Collins, Gary. Christian Counseling . Dallas Word Publishing, 1988 Clinebell Haward. Basic Types of Pastoral care and Counseling. Nashville Abingdon Press, 1992 Hamilton, James. The ministry of Pastoral Counseling. Michigan Baker Book House 1975.